I was listening to the radio this morning. To be exact, I was listening to an '80s station. "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman started playing. (Love that song!) It dawned on me that it perfectly illustrates today's post. Have a listen to the video. 

The teen in the song felt she had to make a decision now. She had to leave her father's house tonight (run away) or live and die the way she had been living. When she ran away, she really didn't end up in a better spot than she had been before. The decision was made based only on feelings. The decision was also validated by her feelings. Notice these lines:

Say remember when we were driving, driving in your car

Speeds so fast it felt like I was drunk

City lights lay out before us

And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder

And I had a feeling that I belonged

I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

When we listen to the song, it feels so sad. It may have been the first time she felt that she could be someone. However, teens often make decisions based on their feelings. This doesn't always lead them astray; however, sometimes it can be devastating.

Jeremiah 17, verse 9 tells us, " The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" In Hebrew, references to the heart often refer to the seat of our emotions. Our emotions can often deceive us. Add teenage hormones and a developing brain to the mix, and it's no wonder teens are often confused and conflicted.

Please don't hear me say that emotions and being led by feelings are bad. God gave us emotions for a reason, and they are beautiful. What I am saying is that we need to help our teens understand that it is good to step back from our feelings a bit, take a breath, and be a little slower to make decisions. Sometimes teens can't even see that a decision will affect the course of their lives (like the teen in the song). Sometimes the simple act of slowing down before making the decision will help them see the possible consequences of their actions.

We can't really hold this impulsiveness against them. It is normal to be driven by our emotions. However, teens also have the added struggle that their brains are not fully developed yet. They are in the throws of a massive reorganization of the brain. (You really must read this brand new article in National Geographic about the teenage brain. It's truly fascinating.) This reorganization happens between the 12th and 25th years. However, all hope is not lost for our teens. If teens are focused and motivated, they can make good decisions much of the time.

We just need to remember to hold fast to our job as mothers of teens:

 

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